Post-hoc poetry.

I had an idea for a new sub-anthology, details will follow if it actually gets anywhere. It's 13 poems, all based (loosely) around certain things that have happened at uni. I don't want to give too much away in case I decide I hate them all after they're written and they never see the light of day (although the first two that I wrote have been shown to one of my best friends).

Problem is, the idea came afterwards. I'm writing poetry post-hoc and it's causing some problems with dating and ordering the poems in the anthology.

I've tried to order them chronologically based on when the original events happened. This has taken some time and pouring over my diary trying to figure out what nights out happened when and when certain information become public and it's not been easy trying to put events with times.

But I think I've managed it, the last date just fell into place; remembering being filled in about the details of a weekend when I wasn't at uni.

I date my poetry. I've said this before in my post that was purely about poetry, and the date I include is usually the date that the poem is written in first draft form. But these poems are different.

The question I have is: Do I date the poems based on their first draft completion, or do I give them the date from when the event they're based on happened?

I could just include both, but that seems like a cop out. If you have any thoughts, please let me know.

Are you happy with where you are in life right now? Take 2

I missed my re-evaluation deadline. I don't tend to miss deadlines but those three months turned into almost 4, but here we are. (If you don't know what I'm talking about go here: http://dft.ba/-5things).

In short: 5 things I wish I could change about my life at this very moment.

1. Not speaking to my family as much as I used to.

This is a big thing for me. Last term we used to speak almost daily and now we hardly speak at all. It's partly down to me being busy at times when they're free and them being busy at times when I'm free. It's not all that difficult to make the extra effort, but these things happen and things slip through the cracks.

2. My pool ability.

And I was doing so well. I'm not really a quitter, but I imagine Sarah hates me for the amount of times I've been threatening to quit the pool team over the last 7 days. They say practice makes perfect but the more I've been practising recently the more I've been losing by huge margins (and by that I mean three 7-balls in the last week - Chris, Joanna and Dani) and then my confidence takes a knock and I don't want to play anymore. I don't want to give up because I have dreams of playing for Roses in my third year; but when you're playing as bad as I have been it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The worst part is knowing what you're doing wrong and knowing how to fix it and trying the best you possibly can to fix it and failing; because that's the point that you feel completely useless.

Although we did discover the secret to my success on Wednesday after our match. It turns out that all I need is a bottle of Lucozade two hours before playing and half a cider just before I play and I can beat Joanna 3-1.

3. Susceptibility to illness.

So recently I've had a cold, a stomach bug and now some nasty cold/flu-like symptoms including headache, sore throat, nausea and fever. I know it could be due to the stress I keep putting myself under by spending too much of my time playing pool, but it's starting to get annoying. I'm hoping on a period of good health to set me up for my week 10 deadline; fingers crossed.

4. Inability to respond to stress until very serious.

I'm not a night-before kind of person. I very rarely write an essay the day before it's due in and my last three assignments before week 8 were all handed in just under 24 hours before deadline. However, Psych 102 for Monday and Psych 101 for Friday were finished at 5am on Monday and Friday respectively. It's still not last-minute per say, they were both ready a good few hours before the deadline and there was even time for sleep while I asked my mum to proofread them before handing in, but it's still not like anything I've ever done before. I used to know a deadline was looming and start writing a week beforehand and keep going at a steady pace until it was done. Both assignments were started early enough but then ignored for too long a period of time until the night before work was necessary and I had to scramble to make up to my word limits while just wanting to go to bed. This kind of thing can't carry on happening and I imagine it can't could have contributed to the scratchiness in my throat and the mild pounding in my head.

5. Relationship status.

And here's the one that makes me look shallow. Of course I'm looking for love, I'm an 18 year old Fresher for God's sake; now is the time if there ever was one. I've pulled twice in clubs this term, but both straight girls, so not really an option for a relationship there. I've never been one for peer pressure, but it seems like everyone else at uni is getting some and I'm not. Maybe I'm a little bit jealous - so shoot me, at least I'll admit to it.